


Part of Your World

by Ibijau



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Family, Cinderella Elements, Little Mermaid Elements, M/M, and there's a big ball for no reason beside the plot demands it, magical pact, mentions of child abuse, mermaid au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 04:37:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11821386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ibijau/pseuds/Ibijau
Summary: Fili is nothing, a bastard without friends, treated worse than the pigs he feeds and clean.When a mermaid offers him any wish of his choice and to reveal the secret of his birth, it's a tempting offer... even the price for it will be his life.





	Part of Your World

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Veraverorum (your_Mother)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_Mother/gifts).



> A birthday present to my dearest Veraverorum, written after an idea of hers.  
> And also because we all know I'll never miss an occasion to make Fili's life an absolute hell. I do love him so. And I love Vera. So much love! Which is why Fili had to suffer. It's all very logical.

It was not the first time Fili was coming down to the beach, but he knew it would be the last. It scared him, but he had made his choice and would not turn back on it. 

The creature was at the same place he always was, upper body lying on a rock to bask in the sun’s warmth while his sinuous tail let the waves gently rock it. Not for the first time Fili was struck by how beautiful the monster was, how desirable he might have seemed until his smile would reveal too sharp teeth. And he always smiled whenever he noticed Fili approaching. 

“Hello little prince,” the mermaid yawned, not bothering to open his eyes. “Come to rethink my offer, eh?”

“Yes, I've decided to agree,” Fili replied, and the mermaid was so surprised it startled and almost fell back in the water, his red kelp hair flying around him. 

In a matter of seconds, the mermaid regained its calm, and smiled again, sharp and dangerous it made Fili want to run away. Where would he run though, with no family, no home? All he had was his servitude in the castle, his loneliness, the disdain of everyone around him. He knew he'd die there, sooner rather than later, when the stain of his existence became too much of a reminder to whoever had brought him into the world. Compared to that, the appeal of the mermaid’s offer had slowly won him over.

Any wish he'd like, the monster had promised, and all he'd have to give in exchange was his life. For months Fili had refused, because his life was all he had, because drowning terrified him. But he had also returned to that beach as often as he could, fascinated in spite of himself. 

“You know my price, little prince. Will you pay it?”

“I will. Tomorrow you can do whatever you want with me. But first…”

Fili hesitated, feeling foolish. The mermaid slid from his rock and crawled to his side on the sun, grabbing his hand and pulling down gently on it to encourage Fili to sit down. He obeyed, instructed by a lifetime of habit. 

“Anything you want, you can have it,” the mermaid whispered seductively. “What will it be, little prince ?”

“That,” Fili blurted. “What you just said. It's… You're always calling me a prince, and there's this great ball tonight at the palace. I want to go and see what it feels like to be treated like…” like a person, he almost said, but caught himself on time. “like a prince. I want to go, I want to see what it's like to dance and eat real fresh food, and talk to people. I… I want to have fun, at least once, and then I won't care what happens to me.”

“That's all?” the mermaid ask, clearly disappointed. “It's not much. I can do much more for you.”

“It's more than I've ever had, it's more than I'd ever have. But if you feel it's a waste of your powers, I'll just… “

“Not a waste as such, no, but it doesn't feel much. I don't want to be cheating you out on this deal. But perhaps… Yes, perhaps I could also reveal to you the secret of your birth. How about that, little prince?”

It did not seem so appealing, and Fili couldn't help a grimace. He wasn't the only bastard in the castle to be raised among servants, but as other less clever or handsome or kind than him had always been raised to higher stations by the discreet intervention of their anonymous parents, Fili had seen his own status drop lower and lower until the pigs were treated more kindly than him. Whoever Fili’s parents were they wanted nothing to do with him, and at this point the opposite was just as true. 

“I'm not sure… “

“Then it's a deal,” the mermaid cut him. “I will make you a great prince, and give you the night of a lifetime! Now, how about a kiss to seal our deal?”

A handshake would have been more traditional, and Fili couldn't help but think of the creature's teeth, how easily they could sink into the flesh of his lips and tear apart his face. But it was as if the mermaid couldn't have killed him countless times already, so maybe he could be trusted. 

Still, it was odd that his first kiss would seal his fate in such a way. Then Fili remembered that for him to have a first kiss at all was lucky, and his fears disappeared as he leaned to press his lips against the mermaid's. It was cold and damp, but not so unpleasant. 

“So be it,” the monster crowed, teeth flashing in the sunlight. “Now let's start by getting rid of these rags. Close your eyes little prince.”

Fili obeyed, and felt a warm wave run over his entire body. When he opened his eyes again, his old rag of a tunic had disappeared, replaced by a silk and brocade outfit in various shades of blue, decorated with lace and golden embroidery so delicate even the king and his sons could have worn them. Even without looking, he knew also that his face had been washed from all its usual grim, and his raggy hair had grown longer, a golden mane decorated with braids. 

He was not the only one to have changed. Next to him, the mermaid had been replaced by a handsome red-haired gentleman dressed in dark shades of purple. He could easily have passed for human, if not for a strange light in his eyes, and the strange way his teeth reflected the light when he smiled. 

“Are you coming too?”Fili asked. 

“I like human festivities. Dancing on land is so different from dancing underwater, I love it. And that way, should anything unexpected happen, I'll be here to magic away all problems and ensure you get the night I promised you. Beside, balls are more fun with a partner.”

A partner was supposed to be of another gender, Fili knew that, but he decided not to point it out. Against his better sense, he quite enjoyed the mermaid’s current form. 

“I realise, I've never asked your name… “

“Until now, I'd never have told you anyway. My name is Nori. And you… You are Fili, son of Dis, daughter of Thrain, king of Erebor, and you ought to have been the true heir to the throne.”

It came as a slap. For a second the shock left Fili breathless, but soon he was laughing so hard tears were forming at the corner of his eyes, all under Nori's perplexed gaze. 

“This is not quite the reaction I expected.”

“What,you thought I'd fall for it?” Fili sniggered. “You should have said I was prince Frerin’s bastard, he has a dozen. Or even prince Thorin's, he's known to like the company of women sometimes. But the sad princess? Everyone knows she can't stand being touched, it's already a miracle she allowed her husband to put even just one child into her.”

“She was not always sad,” Nori retorted. “I was still a child, but I was there… She would secretly escape the castle to come join us on the beach. She liked to see our treasure, to trade our corals and pearls for gold and gems. She never agreed to make a deal with us as you've just done though, and that is something we all regret to this day.”

“You just said you liked her, why would you have wanted to kill her?”

Nori shrugged. “You'll understand in time. You see, in those days, Erebor was at war with the Orocarni principalities, and their elected prince's ship was one day sunk not far from here. The prince survived, and was found by princess Dis who liked him so well she hid him and cared for him, with our help. By the time he was in full health again they were in love, and determined to end the war. They thought if they married and had a child, king Thrain would be forced to reconsider his position. They took us mermaids as their witnesses and when they were sure she was with child, they went to present themselves before Thrain.”

Nori paused, his eyes staring at the distant castle. 

“What happened next I know because the wind and the kobolds told us, knowing how much we loved the pair. The elected prince had been replaced in his country, believed to be dead, and the new one was not so good a tactician. Thrain had no wish to end a war he was finally winning, nor to see his daughter married to someone he so hated. The elected prince was thrown in a cell and left to die of starvation. The princess… Well, it would have been a crime to kill within her a child she wanted, so she was allowed to carry you to term, and she begged for your life. You said it was a miracle she allowed her husband to give her a child. It was not. Prince Kili was just the price she paid for your life.”

It was a joke, Fili thought. A cruel joke played on him by an equally cruel creature. What Nori had said was impossible, the court and everyone working under them loved gossips far too much to keep something so big a secret. But how many of them even knew? If things had really happened the way Nori said, it would have been easy to publicly claim the princess had been deceived, perhaps even to convince her she had been lied to so she would never want to see her bastard. And it was true there had been a war some years back, Fili remembered helping prepare the feast when it finally ended. He'd been just a toddler, but the head of the kitchen had insisted he would work, though even older children had been given the night off by order of the king. 

“I can't be a prince,” he mumbled. “I can't be! Look at me, there's nothing royal about me!”

“I am looking at you, little prince,” Nori replied softly. “You clean up nicely. Even after a life of near slavery, there is pride in you, and the kindness of your parents. You have your father's eyes and hair, and his jaw too. Actually, you have too much of him, ” Nori added after further inspection. “We cannot go like this. Thrain will not have forgotten the face of the man who took his daughter's heart and body...well, nevermind. That's what masks are for.”

He snapped his fingers, and black masks appeared on both their faces, covering their eyes. Fili wanted to ask why Nori was wearing one too, whether he also feared recognition or just enjoyed looking dramatic, but he did not. Nori had gotten up and was offering him his hand, the maks doing nothing to hide his dangerous smile. 

“Shall we go, my little prince ?”

 

The day was declining by the time they reached the castle, but Nori made them wait a little longer, claiming that it would be no fun to be among the first to arrive. So they stood in the corner of a corridor near the great hall, observing the ballet of noble people and servants, and their efforts to never cross path. It was odd to see so many people so busy and not have to help them. A couple times, Nori had to put his arm on Fili’s shoulder to prevent him from joining the servants. 

“There's nothing wrong with earning a living, and there's worse jobs than serving,” the mermaid said. “But you should not have had to do it, and certainly not while being treated the way you were. Tonight and for the rest of your life, remember that you are a prince, and no one has the right to harm you.”

“Except you when morning comes.”

Nori grimaced but did not reply. 

When at last all the guests had entered the hall, Fili thought he would get to join the party, but Nori made him wait yet another couple minutes before they went to the door. A man there asked their names in a tone implying that no matter how well dressed they were, if he didn't know them, they were nothing. His attitude changed instantly when Nori snapped his fingers before the man's face. He started smiling, bowing with much flourish and getting up as they passed by him, loudly announcing “their highnesses Prince Philippe of Beleriand and his councillor lord Nori!”

Every head in the room turned their way, and Fili felt panic rise in him. In all his nineteen years of life, catching people's attention had never been good. With all these eyes on him, rich, powerful eyes, he wanted to cry and run away until he once more felt Nori's hand on his shoulder. 

“They are just people, while I'm so much more,” the mermaid whispered. “You have offered yourself to me and now it is my duty and privilege to protect you… And it is my personal pleasure to see that you get a little fun on the way.”

Fili blushed. It was odd to have someone on his side, even someone who would eventually kill him. Odd but pleasant, and so was the feeling of Nori's hand. 

Side by side they walked through the crowd until they reached the king and his family. They bowed before him, as we tradition, but Fili followed Nori's lead and kept the bow as short as possible. Even after a lifetime in kitchens and latrines, he knew an arrogant display when he saw one, and the sight of the king had made him angry. Some hours ago he had not cared about his ascendancy, but now that he knew the truth, knew who was responsible for his loneliness and misery… To make it worse, it was well known that king Thrain was a doting grandfather, not just to his one legitimate grandson, but also to those of Frerin’s bastard who had survived infancy. In a loving family, Fili had been singled out and chosen as an object of scorn and disgust. 

King Thrain ought to have welcomed them, perhaps even he should have asked the reason of their visit, but Nori moved his fingers slightly and the king remained silent, simply gesturing an invitation for them to join the other guests. They did, Nori's hand still on Fili’s shoulder, comforting and grounding. 

“Do not look so sour,” the mermaid whispered. “This is the night of a lifetime, enjoy it.”

“Then you shouldn't have told me who I am if you wanted me to be cheerful.”

“Who you are has not changed, my little prince. All that has changed is that you now know better your worth, your right to be among others. These people are not better than you. They are no better than anyone actually, but humans never seem to see that. Now, what would you like to do first?”

More than anything, Fili wanted to yell at the king. Second to that he wanted to dance, but that part of the celebrations had not started yet. On the other hand, food had already been served for the guests to eat as they liked, as well as plenty to drink. The food intrigued Fili more than the drink. If this was to be his last night alive, he did not want his senses dulled to much, not until morning came closer and he had to forget what was coming for him. Food, on the other hand… he had often managed to steal a bite or two like any servant child, and most of his meals had been made of leftovers. To have it fresh, in unlimited quantities… 

“Do you think we can eat something?” he asked with a shy smile. 

“You certainly can, and I'll sit with you for company. Land food does not sit so well with me sadly, but I might still try a thing or two.”

Fili’s smile faded somewhat as he remembered what mermaids preferred to eat. These white teeth, now smiling at him with great kindness, would soon enough sink into his skin and tear away his flesh. His eyes then turned to the tables overflowing with roasted meats, delicate broth, fish and other seafood. 

The price was worth the prize. 

With Nori right behind him, Fili found a pair of unoccupied seats at the table, and in imitation of the other guests he started filling his plate with every food near him. It did not occur to him that others were only taking small portions of everything while his own plate was overflowing already, and the curious looks he attributed to his princely introduction. 

“Try to eat slowly, or you'll make yourself sick,” Nori advised while inspecting a chicken leg with the utmost suspicion. With some difficulty he managed to bite into it, his face crunching up in disgust. “No, this is not for me. I'll content myself with your company then.”

“But it's delicious, “ Fili protested, stuffing himself as much as he could, struggling to obey Nori's advice. “And there's so much… Too much, even. They can never finish it all. What's left goes to the dogs or the servants, every time.”

He coughed, something stuck in his throat. Nori started gently stroking his back while he regained his breath, but the gesture only made things worse as Fili shuddered from the almost tender touch. The mermaid seemed to understand and removed his hand, instead offering Fili a glass of vine. The taste did not suit him much, but swallowing it helped anyway. 

“Slowly,” Nori advised again, his voice firmer this time. “The fun is only beginning. You do not want to get sick before you can even have a chance to dance, do you?”

The thought of the dance managed to calm Fili somewhat, and he was more careful when he started eating again. He had never danced in his life, never even seen people dance except for a maid or two jumping around as they recalled memories of a public ball they had attended. He had heard plenty about it though, how fun it was, how beautiful also if there were some graceful people in the assembly. Couples came together or broke down at balls, and there was drama and romance and all of life’s intensity concentrated into a few moments at the rhythm of music. 

“Have you ever danced?” he asked Nori. 

“My people dance too, and quite gracefully, if I say so myself, but it's very different from what is done here. I've been to my fair share of local dances though. Not this royal nonsense, because some of the people irritate me too much… Not that there is anything wrong with being here,” Nori added quickly, as if remembering that Fili had traded his life for that nonsense. “But the little people are far…  freer in their fun, and I enjoy that.”

Being a little too free, Fili knew, meant doing that other sort of dance that resulted in children. He'd seen enough pigs and roosters to know how sex worked, although the appeal of it remained a mystery to a boy who had never even known a mother's kiss. That Nori might have enjoyed such encounters made him uneasy. He enjoyed the mermaid’s kindness, however interested it was, and he didn't like to think Nori had been this kind to others. 

“Did you have fun with these girls then?”

“Oh, I have fun with everyone I spend time with,” Nori retorted with a smile that, for some reason, had Fili blushing. “I am not a very nice person, or so my family says. I never do anything if I cannot have fun doing it. And yes, this means I am having fun here, although I wonder if you are. My company might not be the one you prefer. If you want to talk to people, I can cast a charm so they will accept you as one of their own.”

“Would they not talk to me without magic?”

At this, Nori hesitated. “They will talk to you, because you are handsome and were introduced as royalty. But you were not taught the way they were, you did not have the advantages of tutors and books, and they will notice it very fast. But I can cast a charm and nothing you say will phase them, they will take to you as if you were one of them.”

“But it'll be fake,” Fili complained. 

It was one thing to be disdained for his position in the social order, but it stung to know that even with this fact removed, there was nothing in him that could interest others. 

“If you do not talk to them, you only have me to talk to,” Nori protested. “And the magic would not make such a difference, it would only make this people listen to you as an equal, just as your clothes and this mask make them look at you as their equal. My magic is not all that powerful, I cannot make you more than you already are.”

“I'm nothing,” Fili retorted. 

“If that were true, I would not be here,” Nori assured him, gently touching Fili’s cheek, making him shudder. “If all you had were your parents’ blood, I would not be here. Do you think I grant the wishes of every human I meet? It would be boring for me. I chose you,because no matter how afraid of me you were, you never stopped being kind… And curious. I like curiosity. It's a fun quality.”

Fili blushed and for a second he leaned into the tender touch, before quickly withdrawing as he realised how inappropriate it was. He thought he saw some red creeping under Nori's mask, too, and it confirmed his faux-pas. 

“Let's make a deal,” Nori suggested. “I will cast that charm, you will talk to these people after I introduce you to some of them. Then, if you are not having fun, touch your left ear and I will rescue you from them. How does that sound?”

It sounded reasonable, but Fili didn't much like it. Still, Nori sounded so encouraging that he agreed to try it.

He let the mermaid cast his charm, and they got up to introduce themselves to a group of regal looking youth of his age. They were dressed as local people, and maybe he had seen them before, caught glimpses of these great people when he was cleaning the courtyard, but they had left no impression on him, and he knew they would never have noticed him. Yet now they smiled at him, welcoming and warm, asking questions about his travel, demanding news of a country he was certain Nori must have invented on the spot, and seemed eager to get answers. It could have been pleasant, if not for the way their eyes slightly glazed over every time Fili said something that didn’t fit with their view of the world, or that might have made them question his true identity -and that happened far too often for his comfort. 

Fili was about to touch his left ear when it was announced the dancing would begin at last, saving him. The way two of the girls in his group turned toward him, he wondered if they wanted him to ask them for a later dance. He remained silent and they frowned imperceptibly before turning to their first partners of the night. Fili was left alone with Nori.

“I take it you didn’t much like talking to them in the end,” the mermaid noted with some disappointment. “I’m sorry for that. I fear the night isn’t as much fun as you had hoped at first.”

“I prefer talking to you,” Fili replied in earnest. “I don’t have to lie and pretend that way. It’s much nicer to chat with someone and know they wouldn’t hate me if they knew who I really am.”

“No, I don’t think I could hate you if I tried,” Nori assured him. He smiled in an odd way, less sharpness and more true warmth. “But what about dancing then? You seemed quite eager to try that. We should find you a suitable partner. Dancing is really a lot of fun, and you won’t have to speak if you don’t feel like it, I assure you.”

Fili nodded and looked around, trying to think of a girl he would like a dance with. But always the same feeling haunted them, the certainty that every single one of them would despise him if they knew his true name, knew that just a day before he had been scrubbing the latrines and the day before he’d cleaned the pig’s pen. Maybe the kindest of them would pity him rather than despise him, but it wasn’t so much more appealing.

“I almost wish you were a woman,” he sighed at last. “I think I’d rather dance with you than with anyone else.”

“You hate thinking that these people would not accept you as you really are, but you’d have me change myself even further before finding me an adequate partner?” Nori asked coldly.

“I think you’re more than adequate now!” Fili protested. “You are kind to me, and… quite handsome, really. But men do not dance together, even I know that, and that’s the only reason I could wish you were different.”

Under the mask, Nori’s features relaxed somewhat though his smile was sharp again. “And who says men cannot dance together?”

“It would be unnatural. I know… I think there are men who are together as men and women are meant to, but it is some kind of a crime, I’ve heard.”

“Well, first of all, women do it too,” Nori claimed, stepping closer until his side was pressed against Fili’s, his arm finding its way around the boy’s waist. “I’ve never figured if they were better at hiding, or if your kind hates women so much it never realised that some of their closest friendships were really love. Second, there’s nothing wrong about preferring the company of one you love, regardless of what their clothes might be hiding. It’s such a human thing to control the affections of others this way, to decide their happiness can only be real if it is exactly similar to what your own life is. Third, and perhaps more importantly… Do you really care that much for the opinion of these people?”

It was oddly pleasant to feel Nori’s closeness, the warmth of him even through layers of clothes, to see his eyes, almost human but not quite, alive with a spark Fili had never seen in anyone else, and the mermaid’s question struck something deep within him.

He looked around at the people dancing, chatting, eating, people to whom he was little more than an animal until that day, barely worth more attention than a piece of furniture. His gaze then fell on the king, enjoying this gathering with his family, a family he had been denied a place in. King Thrain was chatting with his eldest son, both of them watching as the king’s youngest son and his grandson were dancing with beautiful women in delicate silk dresses, clearly having a great time all of them. Then there was the sad princess, the Lady Dis who almost never smiled, who never danced, who never seemed to enjoy anything. But when Fili looked at her, she was laughing for once after seeing her son accidentally step on his partner’s feet and almost falling in his haste to step away. Even this sad woman was allowed her share of joy, and whatever sorrow she felt for her first husband and her first son, it didn’t prevent her from enjoying new pleasures now. 

Fili hated her as much as he hated the others, even knowing she was a victim too.

“Let’s dance,” he told Nori at last. “But you’ll have to show me how.”

“I can…”

“No magic,” Fili ordered. “I want this to be real, or else I might as well be dancing with anyone else.”

Once more Nori’s smile became all warmth without any of his usual sharpness, as if he’d been hoping for this exact thing.

They waited for the end of the current dance, Nori’s arm staying around Fili’s waist in spite of the few odd looks it was getting them. Then, when the music changed, they went among the other dancers and joined in on the fun. The steps were easy enough, Nori explaining them between each brief change of partner, encouraging Fili, grinning at both their mistakes, almost laughing each time the dance brought him into the arms of another man who would look utterly panicked at being caught in their fun. 

When that first dance finished they stayed for another, and then one more. Fili was breathless, his entire body tingling from the sheer joy of the dance, the pleasure of being this way with Nori. He did not know enough about balls to notice that they were holding each other too tight, too close compared to the other dancers. He also did not see how many people were glaring at them, how few couples were still with them on the floor. All that mattered to him was the warmth of Nori’s hand in his, their movements together, the smile on Nori’s face grown so wide that Fili might have wanted to kiss him if he had known how.

It took them a few seconds to notice the music had stopped, that they had the attention of the whole room. Fili would have panicked if not for Nori’s comforting presence, holding him close and safe.

“Come here, the two of you!” King Thrain ordered with barely restrained anger.

Fili looked at Nori who shrugged. They obeyed and came before the king, holding hands.

“I do not know how things are in your country,” Thrain roared, “but here we demand decorum of our guests. How dare you sully this place, ruin my people’s amusements, just so you might throw your depravities in the face of good people?”

“We’re not doing any harm,” Nori protested calmly. “This is a party. I thought everyone was entitled to have fun at a party.”

“This is not fun, this is disgusting,” the king retorted. “You will now leave this room, leave my castle and my country and never return, or there will be consequences for you and your people.”

Fili took a step ahead, shaking with anger but forcing himself to smile anyway.

“We will leave indeed, your majesty. We thought things had changed in the last twenty years, but sadly you are still as opposed to the idea of love as you were when your daughter first married.”

His words were followed by hushed murmurs from the assembly, and he saw princess Dis pale and almost collapse on her seat. King Thrain, however, remained unmoved.

“My daughter married seventeen years ago,” he claimed, “and I never opposed her union. Not that this had anything to do with the perversities you have been showing off tonight. Now…”

“It’s a fool’s secret you are trying to keep,” Fili retorted with all the courage he could gather, comforted when Nori gently squeezed his hand. “Everyone knows the princess had married for love and for peace twenty years ago, but peace and love were never your aim and you destroyed everything she had been working for, because your personal glory mattered more than the wellbeing of your people and your own family. And even now, you would be ready to insult a prince and risk war rather than let people be happy? What a king you make, truly!”

The king looked as if he had been struck, his carefully hidden secret out in the open in front of his own court and all sorts of diplomats from neighbouring countries. He fell back in his chair, looking old and weak now, but none of his children rushed to his side, instead pretending not to notice his distress. Fili exchanged a look with Nori who nodded. In silence they turned away from the royal family and started making their way to the exit, until a voice stopped them.

“Wait!” Princess Dis cried. “Before you leave, show us your face. After the scandal you’re pretending to make here, certainly you owe us that much.”

Fili turned to look at her, ready to yell that he owed them nothing, but something on her face twisted his heart. He wondered if she had looked at her father with that same expression when she had begged for her firstborn’s life.

Slowly, Fili removed his mask. There were gasps among the guests, especially those old enough to have known the old elected prince of the Orocarni. The king let out a terrified rattle as if he’d seen a ghost, his sons paling in surprise. As for the princess, her eyes started shining with unspilled tears and she smiled sadly.

“I understand better now,” she said quietly. “From your voice alone I suspected, but seeing your face confirms it. You look so much like your father... I hope you will meet a happier fate than his.”

She looked so kind and full of regrets, Fili almost wanted to run into her arms and be held by her, at least once. He was certain she would hold him back, that she would kiss his face and gently stroke his hair as he had seen mothers do to their children. He ached for it so much he almost couldn’t breathe, because for the first time in his life he could see his mother, see the love in her eyes and know that she longed for him as much as he did for her. But already king Thrain was recovering from his shock, and if Fili went to his mother now, he would certainly be grabbed and thrown into a dungeon to die there, like his father before him. And yet it might be worth it, just to be held that way…

But Nori had other plans. Gently at first, then more urgently, he pulled Fili toward the exit, forcing him away from his mother, away from the man who could have been his grandfather and might become his murderer if they did not escape soon enough. As soon as they had passed the door of the great hall, the mermaid muttered some words to protect them from prying eyes, and lead them out of the castle. Fili allowed it all, still trying to absorb all that had happened, closing his eyes sometimes in an effort to better memorise the love and longing on his mother’s face as she had seen his face.

It was the sound of waves breaking on the sand, along with the smell of salt that brought him back to his senses. Nori had led them back to the beach, the sea almost indistinguishable from the land in the darkness except wherever the moonlight would shine on the water. Morning would not come for another hour or two, but Fili still knew why they were there and he felt as ready as he would ever be. There was nothing more waiting for him back at the castle.

“We can wait for sunrise if you like,” Nori offered, still holding his hand. “There is still a little time, and we can fill it however you like.”

“If I wait, I’ll get scared,” Fili replied, surprised how calm he was even as he knew he would die soon. “Let’s do this now. Only…” he hesitated, unsure how to ask what he wanted.

“Anything you want, I’ll try to give it to you,” Nori promised.

“Then I’d like you to kill me before taking me into the sea,” Fili whispered. “Drowning scares me so much. I’d have taken your offer much sooner if I hadn’t been so scared of it.”

Nori squeezed his hand, and leaned forward to gently kiss Fili’s cheek. “I cannot do that. It does not work that way, my little prince. But drowning is not so bad. I will not say it doesn’t hurt, but it will be over sooner than you think, and I’ll be with you the whole time. Do you trust me?”

“I trust you with my life.”

“Then let’s go. I am here for you, now and to the end of everything.”

Together they stepped into the water. It was colder than Fili had expected, and it made his fancy clothes stick to his legs. Panic crept up within him, but he fought it by clinging to Nori like a drowning man to a raft, and the kept walking further into the sea.

When the water reached his shoulders, Fili stopped.

“It’s not morning yet,” he said, teeth chattering from the cold.

“No, it’s not.”

“Then I can ask you one more thing, can’t I? Only, if you accept, I don’t want it to be because of a deal. If you accept, I want it to be because you’d really like it. Is that possible?”

“I can’t know unless you tell me what you want,” Nori pointed out, pulling Fili closer against him. His body did not give off any of the warmth it had before, but his face still did, and Fili could only think of how easy it would be…

“I have never been kissed,” Fili explained. “Not for real, there was only when we sealed the deal, which I think doesn’t count. But I’d like that, I think, before I die. And since I’ve liked talking with you, and dancing with you, and being close to you… would you kiss me, maybe?”

Even in the dark, he could see the mermaid’s smile, teeth sharp and dangerous in the cold moonlight. But when their mouth linked together there was nothing sharp about it, only a gentleness so tender that Fili almost felt like crying. He threw his arms around Nori’s shoulders, holding him as close as he could, pressing their bodies together and loving how the mermaid’s arms around his waist were just as tight.

Fili could not have said after how long they both fell underwater. He’d been feeling breathless long before that, and the kiss continued even after the sea submerged them both. Just as Nori had warned him, it hurt when his nose and lungs filled up with liquid, burning him from the inside and the pain forcing him to close his eyes, but still he would not let go of the mermaid’s mouth. He could not thinking of a better way to die than held and loved this way.

But after a time, the fire inside his lungs receded, as did the freezing cold outside. When he opened his eyes again, Fili saw that Nori had returned to his usual shape, with delicates gills on the sides of his neck and oddly shaped pupils to better see underwater. He saw also that the mermaid was smiling at him.

“Everyone always thinks we want to kill them,” Nori explained, touching something on Fili’s neck that wasn’t there before, making him shiver. “And there’s a bit of that, of course. You’re dead to the people of the land now, although let’s face it, what you had there wasn’t much of a life anyway. Here though… Here, things will be different for you. Better.”

“And you’ll be with me?” Fili asked, stretching his new tail under him, trying to feel how it moved differently from legs, tentatively wrapping it around Nori’s.

“I’ll be with you as long as you’ll want me to,” Nori promised, kissing him gently. “And it will be my pleasure to show you the beautiful places we have here, to introduce you to everyone I love and know they will love you too. Come, my little prince, there is so much to see out here, and we only have all of our lives to see it all.”

Smiling just as sharply as Nori, Fili took his hand and they swam away together, leaving behind them the pains of the human world.


End file.
